Growing up, I have had it pretty well. I grew up with a family that was well provided for, and as soon as I was able, I got a job and started working. Having done so, I have always had a little extra spending cash, and usually got anything I wanted. Growing up and being somewhat challenged by bills I had to pay became interesting, but never too much to handle. I paid for things most of my friends had handed to them, such as car payments, gas money, insurance, and anything I wanted to do out on my own.
Within the last year though, I have become really comfortable, maybe a little too comfortable... and I don't believe that's how we are called to feel. I'm a Starbucks regular, I pay $300 monthly car payments, I put gas in my 2009 Jeep Wrangler weekly, I go out to lunch with friends... a lot, I make road trips, and I do a lot of shopping at Target and thrift stores. Why? Because I can. I have the money, I work a lot, and earn a very sufficient income at my age.
But very recently, I started a new job... in ministry. I gave up my well paying but very busy nanny schedule and took on a new adventure in ministry, where I'm learning I really have to stretch my money. About a month into the job, and I'm a disaster, and our Good Lord has been so incredibly graceful. Looking at my life right now, my extremely comfortable spoiled 20 year old life... I'm in shock. I see how much I have, and how much I take advantage of it.
Suddenly, with such an income decrease... I'm left standing in a mess. I look around and see all of the extras I don't need and want them to all disappear. I'm selling my jeep, to buy a cheaper one that I can pay for and be done with. I'm paying off my credit card... and not going to spontaneously spend money that I don't have. I'm going to not be so obsessed with designer brand coffee. I'm going to budget, and manage my money so that it is not all about me. I need to remember one more important one... I'm going to be serious about tithing.
There was a period in my life a year or two ago, when I gave like crazy... and the Lord blessed me abundantly. And then, I got uncomfortable... and did not give like crazy, only what I felt comfortable with, and needless to say I began to feel uncomfortable with my income as well. I am a firm believer, because I've seen how much the Lord can use tithing to teach us, that tithing is so important. A couple weeks ago, I read a sentence out of a book to my small group girls, and was astounded by how much it convicted me personally. "God gives you just enough time in a day in order to do what He wants you to do." That goes for anything! He is the Great Provider! He gives me just enough money to do with it, what He wants me to do with it... not what I want to do with it, but what He wants to, what will glorify Him!
So, I'm not writing this to tell my pity story, or to make myself feel good. I'm writing this to share how God is making me very uncomfortable in order to allow me to see the bigger picture. I love when I pray for God to show me things, to change the way I'm living, to challenge me... because I don't think I ever believe He is actually going to... and when He does, I stand dumbfounded. He will challenge you, if and when you ask Him to, because you will grow... in one way or another. He is the only Hope we can find in anything we walk through. He holds all things together, and is the Almighty Lord over all.
Ephesians 2:19-22 says, "Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God's people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."
